An epiphany....

Wow. I've always been baffled by the way we (most of us) treat strangers better than our own families. Like at the store, most people are polite, say all the common courtesies-please, thank you, excuse me, have a good day, etc. Then, to our own families we'll yell, say hurtful things, not wish them a good day, not even say goodbye when they leave!

Just now, I was sitting outside on my porch reading when I heard yelling across the way (we live in a townhouse, so across the way is not like a street or anything). This family always has their windows open and is always yelling it seems, and yelling harsh words.

Within a minute, I heard these phrases come out of the mom's mouth..."Shut the f--- up! Do you understand how f-ing pissed off I am right now? This is not funny. Get away from me or I'll go ballistic on you. Get f-ing outside!" (except, yes, she actually said those abbreviated words). She was yelling this at her CHILDREN-who are like 5 and 3 ish I'd guess. I don't know, maybe I just adore kids, and would never dream of talking to my class or my children this way, even in the utmost of frustrating situations...but WOW. Like really, people talk to their kids this way and think it's OK?!?! And it's no surprise that the kids tell each other to shut up and such all the time. They even talk to their DOG this way!

Maybe it's just me...but I really hope that when I (and all of you that read this!) get THAT upset, I would just say, "I need you to walk away from me and go play right now!" or something to that effect, then go do something on my own to cool off. Honestly, wow.

And I thought it was interesting that like 2 seconds later, the mom, grandma and kids came outside, chatting and eating....it just struck me like, this anger was no rare event. Obviously everyone recovered quickly enough to move on, so the children and probably talked to that way quite often.

I think my epiphany was just that when you lose your anger and treat your family that way, they will never really recover. Her children will remember those harsh words, and harsh tone, and I think it takes a LOT of caring and kindness to overcome that kind of behavior. And, I bet the grandma talked to the mom that way (because she still does, again the yelling and the window open...), and obviously the mom talks to the kids that way, and I'm willing to bet, a lot, that the children will talk to THEIR children that way, because they already talk to each other that way. Whew. Worth it? I think not.

Don't get me wrong, I am NO parenting expert, I am not even a parent! BUT, I do have a sense of how frustrated we can ALL get sometimes at each other, at children, etc. My point is NO MATTER how frustrated you are, there are acceptable ways to deal with the anger and there unacceptable ways as well. Clearly, there are implications for both and the above is obviously, I think, a VERY unacceptable (if not illegal!) way of dealing with anger.

Ok, I'm sorry for my ranting and soapbox-ing! But, it just struck me as so shocking and sad that I had to tell someone, and R.J.'s not home, so...to the blog it went! I hope I haven't offended anyone!