So...maybe I'm sitting at my desk at school holding back the tears. Will is doing a trial run at his new child care place. As I closed the door, he looked at me and said, "Mama?" while tearing up. So I went to the car and lost it.
He will only be there 3 hours a day. It's a good place, with fun activities. BUT MAN! This is HARD.
I KNOW the grass is always greener. I do.
I KNOW I love my job.
I KNOW he's safe and cared for.
I KNOW we will both be ok.
I don't know what I would do if I came to a job where I sat at a desk all day, thinking about him. Luckily I'm busy from the moment I get here, so I don't sit and dwell in my worry.
But....AH. Still crying.
I hope, hope, hope I can someday be a stay-at-home mom.
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I'm so sorry! Even if it's the right choice, it's still hard to leave your little one! I remember leaving Charlie to finish school and it was really hard. You guys will all survive it and Will will probably thrive! Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteCan I come cry on your shoulder next Wednesday when I drop Sammy off? We can console each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Here's hoping your goal comes more quickly than anticipated.
I did work an office job where I could sit and dwell on it all day so I quit and now we're really poor. Does that help?
ReplyDeleteI vividly remember the day that my babysitter called me in the car on my way to work to tell me that James had said something we'd been working on having him say and I bawled so hard I could barely drive. It sucks.
Awe, Katie. This made me tear up.
ReplyDeleteI really believe that someday being a SAHM will be a reality for you.
Oh man, I am so sorry! I hope SAHmotherhood comes quickly! Sunny
ReplyDelete((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you! I feel guilty every night when I come home exhausted and all I want to do is rest, which means playing with my kids is the last thing on my mind. I too hope someday I will be able to be at home with my kiddies!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel! I leave my baby for 5-6 hours a day and it hurts. I cried so much in the beginning, now I am just sad. It's such a strong emotional bond between moms and their babies. I hope we both can be stay at home moms one day...I guess we'll both just have to keep taking care of other people's babies!
ReplyDeleteThis made me so sad. I really want to be a SAHM too. Maybe someday right. I totally agree that it's nice to go to a job I enjoy that keeps me so insanely busy. I never have time to just think. Which is nice I guess. Hope your school year goes well.
ReplyDeleteAmber
Oh Katie! I share your exact same sentiment! Maybe someday we can be at home with our sweet little boys! Thanks for a fun day at the park... you are the greatest!
ReplyDelete